Boston Terrier or French Bulldog
It’s like if the Bruins played the Eiffel Tower or some shit. Whatever, here are two dogs. (For Roxan.)
When you are old and grey
I can’t help myself. The allure of the silver fox compels me. These men, these famous men who play these iconic characters with a heavy dose of sophistication and whimsy and childishness are undeniably attractive. Well, undeniable to me, and I am the authority on this, so just roll with it. I have a degree and stuff. There are no daddy issues here. My father has no hair. Well, he has a...
MFAs for everyone
All right, Franco. You are adorable and a dork and a nerd, so I can’t hate you, or hate on you, or get up on you (which I would totally like to do, whatnoididntmeanthatshit). And I don’t. Hate you. I mean, you’ve got money and you’re charming and you’re not an idiot, but the MFAs? Plural? And now the book? I just…I’m just feeling a little, like in the...
Socks can suck it
Slippers. One of the greatest inventions ever in the history of inventions. It’s in the upper echelon, including the wheel, electricity, celebrity gossip and the house dress. Slippers make any activity more awesome. Flopping around in my apartment with my slippers on, making tea, drinking wine, yelling at my television, avoiding wearing socks. And there is the real triumph of slippers....
This image does not do justice to the scene it was screen-capped from. I mean, honestly AMC, the other photos from the episode are gorgeous and flawless, mostly of Don looking really attractive, which he does most of the time, but these two? These two are glorious and this is a horrible angle and where is the emotion? Well, to be fair both of these ladies got more emotion in one inhale than most...
Advertise to me like this
Now that crisp air and little wisps of wind nip at me in the mornings and evenings I struggle to remove myself from bed to dress myself, which is usually a fun activity. Then having to make my way from one indoor location to another requires being outside, which is also unfavourable and I have to wear fall/winter clothes for those maneuverings to be successful and not cause me to be cold. I...
Not even close
DDB’s Definitions (not in alphabetical order). Snack: a term for something that brings joy and pleasure to the eater and is delicious. Guilt-Free Snack: a term for something that is supposed to bring you joy and pleasure and taste delicious but is in fact a horrible marketing tool that invokes guilt, a horrible emotion, which then decreases all pleasure and joy. Elizabeth Hurley:...
You have to
Here’s the deal: No I don’t. I work in a bookstore. I enjoy talking about books. Like, a lot. I enjoy reading books. Like, a lot. I even enjoy book recommendations. Does anyone know what I hate? Book recommendations (mostly from customers, because, hell no I do not know you and don’t try and horn in on my job, weirdo) preceded by the phrase, “You have to read...
Literary Death Match (Couples Edition)
It’s time to chose. East Coast vs. West Coast. Which hot, young, literary couple do you prefer? In one corner, SF staples, McSweeney’s founder Dave Eggers and his wife Vendela Vida. In the other, NY darlings, Jonathan Safran Foer and Nicole Krauss. Mini-breakdown of positives: Eggers-Vida- Care about children’s literacy. Wrote a film together. Foer-Krauss- Hot brunettes....
In my day
Another sign that I am old: I do not enjoy this Die Antwoord business. I feel like I’m at a stage in my life where I can stop pretending to understand things that cool kids like and can just throw my hand down the back of my sweatpants and scratch an itch and revel in my television. I am not impressing anyone with shit that I don’t find interesting. It turns me into every boring...
What do you get when two weirdly amazing people come together and decide that they are going to write an opera? I don’t know yet, but since Antony Hegarty and Marina Abramovic have made that decision, I’m confident that we’ll find out that it will be fucking awesome and everyone will have their brains blown and we’ll all have to scrape up the pieces of one another in...
After the concrete, trees
This is what it looks like in Vancouver during autumn. This is what it looks like in Vancouver on Thanksgiving Sunday. This is what it looks like in a city that lets things grow right in the middle of it, in the best part of it. I don`t have a spacious house with a pesky lawn to mow, but Stanley Park is my backyard and anyone can enjoy it and that seems just about right to me.
A keen eye for more than nuts and berries
This mangy specimen climbed onto my boot yesterday in the park. Let’s find out more about that interaction through this embellished conversation: Bald-patch squirrel: Hey. Me: Oh, hey there. Squirrel climbs onto boot. Bald-patch squirrel: These are nice. Me: Thank you. Bald-patch squirrel: No problem. They are really gorgeous. Me: Thanks. Bald-patch squirrel: Campers? Me: Yup. ...
Vampire, Pear, Apple, Bear
So, I just read somewhere (Dlisted, duh) that the apple on the cover of Twilight (the book jacket, not the DVD) is a Gala apple. Those are the most delicious apples. Those are my fucking favourite. Do I now have to resist the Gala? Am I making some kind of poor choice when I nosh on that sweet fruit? I feel conflicted, angry, scared, humbled, angry and annoyed. Damn it. This is messing with my...
Way to ruin a good tomato
Somebody really should tell his wife that this asshole is letting that bottle drool ketchup all over his meat and potatoes. Ketchup is a disgrace. Tomatoes are shamed by the addition of mountains of sugar and spices (what kind is a mystery, except to people who have read the bottle, of which I am not one). Why would a sugar junkie like me think like this? Because tomatoes are not meant to taste...