I was kind of thinking that maybe I would write something about the Emmys, like people were wearing gowns and stuff, which I love, but then I realized I just didn’t care enough, so I’m just going to write about this dress I purchased instead. Oh, saved up gift cards, you make life worth living.

This particular dress comes from French Connection and I love it. Partly because it is so freaking cute, (nipped in waist, lovely pleats, and I mean look at those sleeves, could you just, like, die?) and partly because it’s called the Fearless Flame dress. The name alone is worth the price of admission and child labour. Then, in my unemployed state I started to think about my new dream job. Move over, ice cream tester, the new hot game in town is GARMENT NAMER! I can only imagine the joy I’d experience as I sit with dresses piled, draped, hung in racks all around me and my only job is to find their essence and name them accordingly.

Another thing about this dress is that it reminds me of one featured in the classic 1959 board game, Barbie: Queen of the Prom. This game involves finding a  boyfriend, going steady, becoming a school club president, modelling, babysitting, hitting up the soda shop and buying a prom dress. You are not allowed to go to prom (and win the game) unless you have a steady, a club pres pin and have purchased a dress. Even though it’s the cheapest one on the board, I’ve always been partial to this number:

Yup. The Silken Flame. Look at that volume. It’s a dream. What’s not a dream is when you have to pick up a “Love” card and it reveals to the entire school/people playing the game, that your board game boyfriend has written a poem about another girl (in this case a boy playing the game who also owned the above, Silken Flame) and you are crushed and heartbroken forever and ever and don’t even have enough allowance to console yourself with a root beer float. I hate you, Poindexter! And I never want to see you again!

I think a good name for a dress would be Poindexter in Flames. I’d wear the shit out of that dress. I think the Fearless Flame and I are going to have a much healthier, more mutually respectful relationship. It already compliments my figure. I love you, new dress.