I don’t know what people be doing when they’re not waiting until Bonus Time to buy their make-up. Bonus Time is a magical period when you can buy fancy department store make-up and get free things! Products! Shiny glosses! Rosy blushes! Shimmering shadows, and glittering highlighters and sleek liners that make eyes look like Bambi’s! Who are these folks buying fancy make-up and getting nothing in return? Are these people saffron dealers? Do they have diamonds on the soles of their shoes and lining their pocketbooks? Are they drug dealers?

I don’t even really like the idea of department stores. There is a whole bunch of different stuff all in one giant box? In some ways it’s just glorified Walmart or Costco. However, I can’t deny the glory of the department store make-up counter. The women at the Clinique counter wear crisp white lab coats and blacks mixed with pastels. They’re basically the doctors of cosmetics. Ph.Ds in lipstick.

The best bang for buck is this moisturizer here. It just crosses the spending line so you can get free! Is it dramatically different? I don’t know. I haven’t messed around very much with other facial moisturizers. I stick to this guy. Loyal to my slathering. I like my moisturizer smooth and yolky yellow and in packaging that old ladies love. Yup. Another bonus. Clinique is kind of make-up for older ladies. It’s not cool, but it’s reliable. And when I reach middle age and then old lady age I won’t have to ween myself off of Kat Von D brand or Urban Decay and think about my make up glory days. Bonus.