Yes. Another dream. About a celebrity. This time, however, there was real danger. And not just because Alexander Skarsgard is dangerously good looking.

Lakeside. Friends and I swim, frolic, but the sky is dark. Trees barricade us on one side. We’re circled by mountains. Skarsgard appears, sporting a dusty red-coloured button up and some slim jeans. He looks good, but he’s worried.

“It’s not safe,” he says.

Then in an instant a mechanical wall dams the water. We’re floundering in mud. Fish flail around. And then the next logical thing happens, that thing that is so dream awesome: he takes my hand and we run and the setting changes. Bam! We’re in the locker room of the YMCA. Perfect. Above the building helicopters chop the sky. We listen. The gym fills with soldiers (or something, I don’t know exactly what they were because even though it was super dangerous and shit, Askars took off his shirt and even though I was supposed to be dream scared I was like, ‘this dream is probably going to change to something more awesome really soon’ or whatever) and there were gunshots and also screaming. Then shirtless Askars grabs a gun (meh - not really hot) and escorts me out through a back door and then I can’t really go into the details, but it was very, very dangerous. And the dusty red-coloured button up was never seen again.

So, to analyze: I am really into this season of True Blood, the screen shots for the new version of Straw Dogs feature Skarsgard in a dusty red shirt and tailored denims are all over my regular internet viewing, Skarsgard Vogue photo spread has been viewed by my yes no less than two million times, I want to get in touch with my Scandinavian side by hanging with the Swedish vampire, I am concerned about water conservation (?), distress at lack of swimming, I like good looking things, the only thing in my subconscious is pop culture and it’s poisoned the rest of my brain.